thanks to you and a story

Well, it's time for a wednesday/thursday update. I've spent two weeks blogging posts that I deem too much to post, so it's time to say thanks to the folks who have helped me through being a despairful teacher. I'm feeling a lot more at ease with myself in the classroom and I am slowly seeing the difference in my kids and the activities I plan. Things are working better. Meetings are going more smoothly. Transitions are happening because I don't stress about transitions happening.

Today I set limits for a 3.5 who has been very silly in the classroom and has trouble with the keep your whole body to yourself rule. She hadn't really had a time out before. She was flailing around with our peace flower and I asked her twice to get control and find work. Very calm. Very matter of fact. She was still reeling around when I asked her to come talk to me, so I approached her and took her hand and told her she had a time out. (Not a big deal in our class, you sit out for 2 minutes.)

"I am holding your hand because you are walking away when I am talking to you.
If I let go, can you stand still?"

She does.

"I am asking you to sit down in our time out spot. I would like you to walk there on your own. Can you do that?"

She does. I follow behind her. She makes it there on her own. My insides are jumping with glee, coz this is a little chica that likes the word "no" and it hasn't popped out once yet!!!

"You sit here for 2 minutes. When 2 minutes is up, you can go find a job. I will tell you when 2 minutes is up." [I'm looking for a sand timer so they can self-monitor...]

So here it gets wonky. She gets to the spot, but she doesn't want to sit on it. She gets this pouty look that must work on someone at home. She makes some whimpering sounds. She kind of hunches "near" the spot, then moves on her knees to the closest table where a friend is working. I'm not having it. When I see her off the spot, I so calmly go over towards her, look her right in the eye and say,

"You sit down HERE (gesture), and after two minutes you can go find a job. Two minutes starts when you are sitting in this spot."

Okay. So she sits. But she's touching stuff on the wall. I ask her to put back the stuff and wind up taking it out of her hands [this works with 3s, but not much older], and bygolly she starts sitting without touching. She probly makes it about 1.5 min and I call the 2, because she doesn't have a lot of limits at home and it was late in the day and I wanted this to be successful. But, she made it.

So interesting. She was, like, hungry for the control of being made to sit. Her body really was out of control before the time out. And she was tired and stressed and this was really a healthy thing for her. She was much more balenced after that and really behaved in the meeting time. Better than usual!

Yay! for when things work. And Yay for when they don't, coz that's how you learn!

I need to start recording this stuff beyond my blog though. Maybe 10 minutes of notes at the end of a day.

Things to Do

1. Yay for Columbus Day. 4 day week -- make a plan for everyday
2. Keep It Simple, Silly -- easy plans, basic plans, effective plans
3. ID two new activities specifically for 5s re: literacy or math skills
4. ID two new group activities for outdoor time
5. Carefully outline a plan for introducing a written set of rules for our program
6. Carefully outline any new materials that will go out and how to get them out quickly
7. Brainstorm transition activities that work for lining up and cleaning up
8. Group lesson on whether you should clean up or save a work
9. Group reminder on snack policies
10. Group lesson on
11. Figure out walking trip protocol and stick to it!
12. Brainstorm a concise description of my teaching approach for discussion purposes
13. Figure out a tie in material for new theme
14. Preview and select books for read aloud from theme books

More?

on being tired

Okay. So, I'm not bone-crushingly tired because of this teaching job. It's quite joyful, actually, when all of my lovely are engaged in work during the work period. Not tiring to see them working hard.

Me, however, I am tired of working too hard. In fact, working hard doesn't even really describe what exactly is occupying my intellect. Worrying hard would be a good way to describe it. Since when did obsessing over anything actual make it better?

I'm tired of things that are all talk, and I'm afraid that I'm turning out that way to. Look at me now, for example. Blah, blah, blah I'm having a hard time. Right? People and things that are all talk make me sad and mad coz I think of myself in this job.

I am tired of feeling overwhelmed with figuring out what's what. I am feeling terrified of parents. I am feeling terrified of my boss. I am waiting for either of these parties raise the flag of "this girl has no fucking clue" and I will just fall over in terror.

So, am I tired or terrified?

It's hard coz at 5pm, after 9 hours of school, my lovelies are trying their hardest, but I am hearing the whining and the attitude and the crying all come out. So, I shouldn't take this personally, I guess. I feel like doing all this at various points in the day.

I did try to have a quick, quick approach today and that helped with some of the chaotic transitions. As in me hurrying along with MY agenda and ignoring mild misbehavior helped smooth everyone's ride.

I am tired, also, from trying to be the mean teacher. It's not really working coz I'm scared to do it. Like I threaten removing privledges, but I'm shaking when I'm saying "you won't join us..." I don't look them in the eye. Or I feel so actually angry, that I say it harshly and angrily. Which isn't gonna work.

I've gotta take care to have more positive interactions. This really is the children's house, and I'd better not forget it. Maybe I oughta go read some old blogs about how much I care about kids and montessori, coz I need some motivation.

And I need a good project for tomorrow! Help!

Meanwhile, I'm tired of thinking about it and will watch some movies now. Notice that I did not do any school work besides this blog. Because, really, I get up very early and devote about an hour to school each morning. I feel like that's plenty, plus whatever weekend work.

That's one thing I'm happy about. At least I'm not loosing my mind about this job and I'm doing somethings for myself on the weeknights. I just also have it in my head that I'm too far on this side of things and I should be working harder, but I just don't know how because of my gross underqualifications. Agh, bad thinking. Faulty thinking.

Okay, so here's the eternal motivation: Thanks Amy, for this post.

I'm not underqualified. I am qualified. I am doing my best. I am taking it day by day. I am noticing my successes.

having fun and getting it done

hmmm, my heading here is more aspiration than reality.

I did practically no work this weekend. Why have all of my weekends felt that way. I write these Thursday night, Friday night posts and say, "Regroup over the weekend." And do I? I mean, my sanity comes back coz I have some good times with people I like that are over the age of 6, that's true. And I usually have spend ample time with the excercise I like. So, yes, I feel sane right now at 11pm on Sunday night. But, do I have a weeks worth of lessons ready to go?

No. No. No.

I remember talking with my assistant(here to know as A.T.) at the beginning of the year, and telling A.T. about my lesson planning formats and my theme ideas, and what I heard back was that last year that stuff didn't exist. They winged it everyday more or less, is what I gather. Or, just planned for each day without specific weekly goals. I couldn't really read whether A.T. thought this was effective or not, but A.T. did sound excited that I wanted to push thematic planning.

So, now that I'm into it. It seems like my idea of a theme is too much for the time of the program. Back to the "Keep It Simple, Stupid" concept (maybe "KIS, Silly" is kinder). Themes are great, chica, but it's gotta be REAL basic. As in, Pets, Buildings, Vehicles, Panda Bears. Not ecosytems and cities and things that go and endangered animals. Too much, for me AND them. I think we can embrace a sort of project-based focus, as long as we really hit on small themes in deep and varied ways.

So what would this look like for the coming week? I didn't get to the library this weekend. So, should I go tomorrow and dig up as much as I can. Should I change our format starting tomorrow? Shorten meetings and move them to later in the day? It's tricky coz I don't have to turn in my lesson plans to anyone at this job, so it's really all for me. Can I really take it day-by-day all week? I've been writing lessons on Sundays and totallly changing them by Wednesdays, so...in some senses, why bother...

I will probly get up plenty early tomorrow and leave time to keep thinking, but right now, I think I am handling things. I think having a positive attitude and relaxed disposition is really so much more important than trying to get every detail right. Where I feel I'm struggling, though, is really the bag of tricks aspect. Like during circle, I want more attention getters and cooler songs that I actually know the words to...How can a person forget the words to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star... I swear, I am an embarassment to the profession when it comes to forgetting song lyrics. <> right? How do I forget that!

Also, for work time, I need to know more materials. But, this could be remedied by reviewing albums from other teachers at school. And the circle time thing could be remedied by a trip to the bookstore to get "transition tips and tricks" kinds of books.

Maybe instead of lesson planning, I should start "Directress' Bag of Tricks Book" and have sections for songs, rhymes, materials, transition stuff, outdoor games. Hmmm....stream of consciousness has resulted in a good idea.

Woo! Yeah, and that's something I could save for future years! YeahYeahYeah!

But meanwhile, and for tomorrow. I gotta put together the original exercise I've had in mind and get done some housekeeping kinds of paper work. Also, an art activity for Tuesday. Brainstorm for ingedients/materials for this weeks projects. Also, if I'm gonna go project based, I think I want to solicit ideas from the kids about what we should study. And, still, behaviors fine in the scheme of things, but I can continue to lay down the law in more effective and fair ways. I have that ability. :)