:::doing montessori:::

A Montessori Mother

2009-12-29T18:43:00.002-05:00

Lucky me! A dear one has procured a library copy of A Montessori Mother from 1912. This text, by Dorothy Canfield Fisher, was one of the first books to recount an American experience of the Montessori Method. Fisher visited Italy and was able to observe Montessori schools up close. She chose to write the book because of the strong response of her contemporaries to the visit. She was constantly asked to expound on her visit and the resulting book is part ethnography, part Montessori biography and part summary of the Method.

I'm only two chapters in and plan to read the book in it's entirety. It's a much easier read than any of the books written by Montessori at the time. The 1912 copy has wonderful photo plates that show a classroom in Italy and show children working with the original materials.

What a great read. I plan to order a reprint when I have to return this copy. Amazon has a reprint available for less than $10. This might be a useful and accessible text for teaching about the historical context of the Method for teacher training programs.

Picasa rocks my album making world

2008-08-13T06:09:00.004-05:00

Okay. Okay. So I am all ready blogging via the graces of Google. The images you see on this blog are all ready hosted on Picasa.

But, check this out.

I downloaded Picasa2 software from the Google website. Picasa2 has a terrific and fast interface for looking at all the images on my computer. I upload photos from my Canon digital camera using the Canon software. The next time I open Picasa it takes less than 20 seconds to catalog the new images in the Picasa index.

Picasa2 lets you edit images right in the viewing window with fairly powerful effects. Change lighting, straighten, red eye. Clearly a lot of Google genius effort went into making these features useful and simple.

Album making used to be a tedious process for me. I would go into my dated folders, copy the pics for each lesson and put them into a new folder with the lesson title. I would open a Word doc and use Insert Image to stick each image into the document. Then, I'd use Word's image tool bar to brighten or crop my photo. Making the changes in word only effected the image that stayed in Word.

Now, I can edit my pics in Picasa2 and save the changes to the image file. Next, I upload the pics for one lesson into a Web Album. I can caption the web album with description. Then, to print out, all I do is cut and paste the pic and caption text into a Word doc. Done. Then I have a write up saved on my computer and backed up on the internet.

Albums. Easy.

Now, if only you could print the captions right from Picasa's website or from Picasa2... I'd completely eliminate Microsoft from the formula.

This is for Montessorians, too

2008-08-05T19:43:00.004-05:00

I just got an iphone. I've never been one for tech hype or early adopting in the past, so it's sort of a surprise for me to be into this shiny pretty thing.

This phone some inspiration to get my albums digital. I looked at practical life album on it today. Holy cow. Link to the Picasa pics right there in the proper sequence. This will change my classroom life. I could keep the phone in my apron and take it out for reference on a break.

I imagine the requisite bookshelf worth of plastic-protected albums will go the way of the roledex in the next 10 years. Gone will be unsnagging stuck or loose pages from the binder rings. Gone will be breaking your back or bike to haul these items from home to the classroom.

sports metaphors

2008-08-05T19:31:00.003-05:00

I feel like an Olympic distance runner as I courageously look at the work I've got ahead of me over the next year. Thrilled for the challenge and feeling prepared and confident that I can achieve my goals.

The non-Olympian voice of self-doubt is scared and wishing to curl up in the air conditioning and WATCH rhythmic gymnastics for the duration of summer. "Goals? What's the point?" this voice intones.

My plan: ditch whiny voice self on the couch and pursue album making and philosophy assignments with a caffeinated passion.

practical life album live!

2008-07-06T21:07:00.002-05:00

Please visit my new blog, practical life album. Practical life lesson features sequential photos of many of the practical life lessons that are the foundation of the Montessori 3-6 classroom. When possible, I will provide a summary of the lessons and materials and possibly some discussion of the aim of the lessons.

Secrecy

2008-07-06T20:43:00.003-05:00

I saw the documentary Secrecy this spring at a film festival. The film chronicles the levels of government secrecy since the Cold War era. Is it surprising that "classified" is more popular in the Bush II government than any before it? Not really. The film really sheds light on the sad legal history of making public docs a big secret by digging into a recently unclassified 1950s court case that has justified the government need for secrecy.

One of the experts from the film discusses the differing mentalities between the Cold War Era and the Digital Age. He argues that openly sharing information about terrorism and terror suspects diminishes secrecy, but can ultimately improve safety because it means more eyes and minds are aware of a terror threats. His point is that more information, more widely available will result in more people who can make connections that can lead to apprehension of criminals.

In this new age of digital information, we global citizens have extreme freedom of information. The internet makes an overwhelming amount of data available. It also makes that data portable and accessible from almost anywhere. It is in that spirit that I am choosing to post photographs and descriptions of my Montessori training albums.

I'm planning to keep the album information limited to mostly pictures. For one, I want to honor the fact that most of my lessons are under copyright protection from my training program. For two, they say a picture is worth a thousand words. And I am wary of losing data from my hard disk, it will be nice to have a web backup.

Still, I have struggled with why I want to make these photographs public. Aren't these my private efforts at learning and creating self-awareness as a teacher? What benefit will these photos provide to a public sphere?

It's easy, I'm making these photographs publicly available to share with the world what it is I care about with passion. I want the world to see more Montessori guides, schools, children, parents. Why not allow the world a glimpse into my interpretation of the lessons of Dr. Montessori?

It turns out that life isn't a 3rd grade spelling test. There are no more teachers berating me to "cover my paper." There are no Soviet spies wanting to steal away my Montessori secrets. There is just you and me and the spirit of Montessori.

three year journey

2008-07-06T00:24:00.002-05:00

Having a record of my thinking and self-development over the past three years is a beautiful and meaningful gift to myself.

I am a thinker at the core, and it's easy for me to get carried away by the progress of ideas. Seeing the development of my own ideas and confidence is incredible. It's so easy to forget how ideas change and grow. It's so easy to think that no arriving at a conclusion has required little effort.

Montessori Journey. Just typing that reminds me the power of these ideas.

The practice and promise of Montessori ignite me at the very core of my being. These ideas have introduced me to the concept of spirit in a way I didn't know was possible three years prior.

"Doing Montessori" has truly been a journey of self-discovery, as much as an exploration of methodology and a career.

I am humbled to live out the ideals of John Dewey, that life and experience are one, as the quote at the bottom of the blog explains. Three years ago, I made a decision based on my intellectual training to PRACTICE Montessori. I can look back now with great appreciate for the wisdom of the Dewey way, for my training as an undergraduate to value experience over mere inquiry.

Now, my internal critic is anxious to point out that this decision has led to no fame, no glory and (though more realistically attainable) no graduate level degrees.

However, this journey has awoken in my heart a truer understanding of what it means to give love. It has awoken in my heart and my head the meaning of spirit and the connection between my spirit and that which is divine and what connects us all on this planet. I have been inspired by the writing of Maria Montessori to seek out spirit and connection in my own life that three years ago seemed impossible.

So. Three years later. No fame, no fortune, no MBA/JD/M.Ed/ABD on a Ph.D.

"Just" an awakening of true self-awareness and a desire (and some tools) to deeply connect with the world.

I suppose I'll have to live with that. Good thing I'm interested in living joyfully these days. :)
\

Montessori meets positive pyschology and mindfulness

2007-12-19T22:54:00.000-05:00

A plan, a plan. Another new year turning around here. There's so much in hope in my heart. I feel full of joy, peace and love. I am anticipating a new year full of excitement and connection.

I've had the most incredible intellectual experiences in the past year and I think that's the direction I want to take this blog. Towards where Montessori fits in with other thinkers -- let's talk Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi(Flow) and Martin Seligman (Learned Optimism, Authentic Happiness). How do Positive Psychology and Montessori Method compliment each other?

Montessori anticipated all kinds of thinks that today's psychologists are studying. I want to get on board all of this discovery.

I am also fortunate to have discovered the benefits of meditation and yoga thanks to the book Full Catastrophe Living, by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn. The practice of mindfulness is definitely at play in Montessori teaching and the classroom environment. How is Montessori teaching children to be mindful? How can teachers incorporate mindfulness practices in the classroom and outside of it?

Also, I've been doing a lot of writing for the purposes of Montessori training and I'm considering posting it here or elsewhere.

first day reflection

2007-09-04T18:40:00.002-05:00

There is so much beauty in this world.

How is it possible that the mere laughter of a child can open the heart?

..that pretend snoring is the most awesome noise that your soul ever heard?
..that when it works it feels great?
..that when it's tough, you can still feel sure of yourself?

It's good to be back.

practical life

2007-08-19T17:34:00.001-05:00

Lots of news to report:

I am more than half-way through the schooling to be a certified Montessori teacher. This feels great! Also, DAUNTING! There's more work to this that I want there to be. I want it to be: I care about Montessori, I believe in Montessori, I can teach Montessori...but really, there are some intermediate steps. Most of these steps are usefully -- like knowing the procedure for table scrubbing or sandpaper letters.

So, my task this year is to dig in deep to those extensions and variations to the materials. One of the mentors in my life convinced me that the materials have the answers for my kiddos that spend all day in school. Yes, the need some community driven extras, but there is plenty in the materials to fill up a 10 hour school day.

I have had so much energy for the classroom in this past week (about 2 weeks out from the start of the school year). Lots of thinking coming together. There's a little nagging thought that I'm overthinking things. That I'm putting too much of myself into this. That there really *isn't this much* to think and plan. What if I'm setting myself up for being disappointed.

I know I have the curse of big thinking. It gets me in trouble when I want to do 10 things in a week and can really only get to 2. I need to scale down. I have a 100 ideas for this year and realistically, 20 might be the max. I'm good in the sense that I'm just trying to get a sequence down for the enrichment activities that I plan. The sequence would mirror the kind of sequence in the albums.

For example, I'm looking at what I want to do with art and cooking curriculum. I really want to go clay crazy this year, so we will start with playdough (familiar from at home) to learn how to treat the clay in class and work up to making thinks to take home with model magic and sculpey.

Or for cooking (which my practical life training treated in a mish-mosh way) figuring out the individual skills that kiddos need to prepare food in a small group. Haha, patience is the first one! That was one of the most stressful activities last year because the children would say, "I want a turn, I want a turn," because I was disorganized and didn't layout a consistent ground rule about prep. Or we had to go back to the kitchen to get something, etc. Now, it will be fun to prepare things with the kids because we'll follow a sequence and keep items in the classroom that we use a lot. If I give a lesson (and make a work) about leveling off flour, the kids can do it and I can stress less when we're making cookies.

Also, I'm on a healthy food kick. Got some cool cutting implements and want to do more fruits and veggies. Most of my class last year ate a lot of different fresh stuff.

More to report soon, I'm sure.

Meanwhile, some tasty illustrations courtesy of training lunch hour:

progress report

2007-05-03T21:35:00.000-05:00

here's what i'd say at my own parent conference:

Your child has developed tremedous self-confidence this year. She seemed hesitant to get to know the other children. Sometimes her shyness created conflicts. But, really she has blossomed into a confident, proud and creative member of this class.

Yup. I'm on track. I'm so proud, happy to be a teacher. Having a substitute in for my assistant makes me feel especially confident. Coz, wow, things are working and going *smoothly* with just ME in charge of my pleasant little charges.

Woo for getting more training this summer! (That fullfills one of my goals)
Woo for observing 6-9 Montessori and learning more about Elem II! (more goals)
Woo for learning more about peace education via communications readings and pondering further anti-racist action. (in the planning stages, but set to complete by the end of the year)

Keep trying for the author studies. I lost some steam on these when I accidently thought Ezra Jack Keats was African-American, which is why I planned to study his work during Black History Month. Ooops. Yeah. Thinking Tana Hoban photography unit for NEXT school year, though. Should probly have two more at least. Thinking of a three little pigs or anansi study for the end of the year.

Keep trying for building the children's book collection. I just spend $50 on teacher books at the teacher store, though, so I'm on the right track. I am still in the idea gathering stages here that's for sure.

Go for it! for the digital album making. I'll try my best. This will have to happen this summer!

working hard and working too hard

2007-02-03T12:58:00.000-05:00

I have a habit of working really hard on academic pursuits, and my biggest fear about montessori is that it really requires so much time to prepare the environment and come up with jobs and shop for materials and observe the children and talk to the parents. I really idealize that 9-5 schedule where once you are done work, you're done. But, I am pretty certain that is a myth. Even folks that work 9-5 still come home stressed about how they are treated at work, even if they don't have to physically sit at their computer and continue plugging away. And traditional teacher have loads of out of school work to complete, but they get socked with paper work and the latest mandated paperwasters, which hopefully i won't have to deal with as a montessorian.

I guess I'm just scared of the work. Like, am I really good enough for this? Can I really mantain the energy to keep doing this for a number of years? Will training be a "good investment"? What if I don't have what it takes to stick with this? Or what if I work my hardest and I'm still not as good a teacher as I want to be?

I really need to get over the self-doubt. Of course I can think like this, but I don't really have an indication of myself being an unskilled teacher. I work well with children all ready, and every year I'm learning plenty more about guidance and management, as well as instruction.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I'm really so incredibly tired of working with burnt out teachers that teach me what not to do. Is it worth it to work with someone who still has the magic before I'm in the position of having my own classroom? This seems like a big risk, too. Because will I be damning myself for giving up something I started?

Ah, thinking.

happy 100 and a new year

2007-02-03T12:49:00.000-05:00

Happy 100 years, Maria! You are the #1 genius soul sister shining light in my life. Thanks for inspiring me to embrace my own life and the lives' of children in a new way.

Here's my Montessori new year's resolutions:

1) Learn more about peace education
2) Complete more training over the summer (especially language)
3) Post my albums digitally for myself and maybe other folks
4) Observe 6-9 and 9-12 classrooms in action
5) Continue building my children's book library
6) Develop awesome author studies and post here

where have i been?

2006-12-02T16:21:00.000-05:00

Not here, clearly. Long lost update. I'm settling into things at the school. It's amazing to feel stable after feeling like my ship was caught up in the Bermuda Triangle of "I'm totally not ready for this." Turns out there was just a learning curve to be dealt with over many, many days.

Things are settling and I'm getting to do curriculum that I am interested in, and I'm engaging the kiddos in new and exciting ways. I've really gotten to know most of my little ones and it's great to really see their personalities emerge as I get to know them and they get to know me.

I left work on Friday, walking up the avenue, feeling on top of the world. "I love my job," I got to say to myself with a giant smile.

Sure, there are challenges, there are plenty of things I can do better. But, I'm doing it, I CAN do it!

Now that I've got my confidence built back up, I can focus more on making this blog something meaningful and useful, rather than a vent-fest. I'm anticipating making some big changes over the holiday break with updates. Maintaining amonymity is really important because I want the option of "discussing" specific interactions with kids, so I have to see if I can still manage that while trying to honestly share the curriculum and themes that I focus on.

thanks to you and a story

2006-10-18T22:15:00.000-05:00

Well, it's time for a wednesday/thursday update. I've spent two weeks blogging posts that I deem too much to post, so it's time to say thanks to the folks who have helped me through being a despairful teacher. I'm feeling a lot more at ease with myself in the classroom and I am slowly seeing the difference in my kids and the activities I plan. Things are working better. Meetings are going more smoothly. Transitions are happening because I don't stress about transitions happening.

Today I set limits for a 3.5 who has been very silly in the classroom and has trouble with the keep your whole body to yourself rule. She hadn't really had a time out before. She was flailing around with our peace flower and I asked her twice to get control and find work. Very calm. Very matter of fact. She was still reeling around when I asked her to come talk to me, so I approached her and took her hand and told her she had a time out. (Not a big deal in our class, you sit out for 2 minutes.)

"I am holding your hand because you are walking away when I am talking to you.
If I let go, can you stand still?"

She does.

"I am asking you to sit down in our time out spot. I would like you to walk there on your own. Can you do that?"

She does. I follow behind her. She makes it there on her own. My insides are jumping with glee, coz this is a little chica that likes the word "no" and it hasn't popped out once yet!!!

"You sit here for 2 minutes. When 2 minutes is up, you can go find a job. I will tell you when 2 minutes is up." [I'm looking for a sand timer so they can self-monitor...]

So here it gets wonky. She gets to the spot, but she doesn't want to sit on it. She gets this pouty look that must work on someone at home. She makes some whimpering sounds. She kind of hunches "near" the spot, then moves on her knees to the closest table where a friend is working. I'm not having it. When I see her off the spot, I so calmly go over towards her, look her right in the eye and say,

"You sit down HERE (gesture), and after two minutes you can go find a job. Two minutes starts when you are sitting in this spot."

Okay. So she sits. But she's touching stuff on the wall. I ask her to put back the stuff and wind up taking it out of her hands [this works with 3s, but not much older], and bygolly she starts sitting without touching. She probly makes it about 1.5 min and I call the 2, because she doesn't have a lot of limits at home and it was late in the day and I wanted this to be successful. But, she made it.

So interesting. She was, like, hungry for the control of being made to sit. Her body really was out of control before the time out. And she was tired and stressed and this was really a healthy thing for her. She was much more balenced after that and really behaved in the meeting time. Better than usual!

Yay! for when things work. And Yay for when they don't, coz that's how you learn!

I need to start recording this stuff beyond my blog though. Maybe 10 minutes of notes at the end of a day.

Things to Do

2006-10-09T18:41:00.000-05:00

1. Yay for Columbus Day. 4 day week -- make a plan for everyday
2. Keep It Simple, Silly -- easy plans, basic plans, effective plans
3. ID two new activities specifically for 5s re: literacy or math skills
4. ID two new group activities for outdoor time
5. Carefully outline a plan for introducing a written set of rules for our program
6. Carefully outline any new materials that will go out and how to get them out quickly
7. Brainstorm transition activities that work for lining up and cleaning up
8. Group lesson on whether you should clean up or save a work
9. Group reminder on snack policies
10. Group lesson on
11. Figure out walking trip protocol and stick to it!
12. Brainstorm a concise description of my teaching approach for discussion purposes
13. Figure out a tie in material for new theme
14. Preview and select books for read aloud from theme books

More?

on being tired

2006-10-03T21:59:00.000-05:00

Okay. So, I'm not bone-crushingly tired because of this teaching job. It's quite joyful, actually, when all of my lovely are engaged in work during the work period. Not tiring to see them working hard.

Me, however, I am tired of working too hard. In fact, working hard doesn't even really describe what exactly is occupying my intellect. Worrying hard would be a good way to describe it. Since when did obsessing over anything actual make it better?

I'm tired of things that are all talk, and I'm afraid that I'm turning out that way to. Look at me now, for example. Blah, blah, blah I'm having a hard time. Right? People and things that are all talk make me sad and mad coz I think of myself in this job.

I am tired of feeling overwhelmed with figuring out what's what. I am feeling terrified of parents. I am feeling terrified of my boss. I am waiting for either of these parties raise the flag of "this girl has no fucking clue" and I will just fall over in terror.

So, am I tired or terrified?

It's hard coz at 5pm, after 9 hours of school, my lovelies are trying their hardest, but I am hearing the whining and the attitude and the crying all come out. So, I shouldn't take this personally, I guess. I feel like doing all this at various points in the day.

I did try to have a quick, quick approach today and that helped with some of the chaotic transitions. As in me hurrying along with MY agenda and ignoring mild misbehavior helped smooth everyone's ride.

I am tired, also, from trying to be the mean teacher. It's not really working coz I'm scared to do it. Like I threaten removing privledges, but I'm shaking when I'm saying "you won't join us..." I don't look them in the eye. Or I feel so actually angry, that I say it harshly and angrily. Which isn't gonna work.

I've gotta take care to have more positive interactions. This really is the children's house, and I'd better not forget it. Maybe I oughta go read some old blogs about how much I care about kids and montessori, coz I need some motivation.

And I need a good project for tomorrow! Help!

Meanwhile, I'm tired of thinking about it and will watch some movies now. Notice that I did not do any school work besides this blog. Because, really, I get up very early and devote about an hour to school each morning. I feel like that's plenty, plus whatever weekend work.

That's one thing I'm happy about. At least I'm not loosing my mind about this job and I'm doing somethings for myself on the weeknights. I just also have it in my head that I'm too far on this side of things and I should be working harder, but I just don't know how because of my gross underqualifications. Agh, bad thinking. Faulty thinking.

Okay, so here's the eternal motivation: Thanks Amy, for this post.

I'm not underqualified. I am qualified. I am doing my best. I am taking it day by day. I am noticing my successes.

having fun and getting it done

2006-10-01T22:25:00.000-05:00

hmmm, my heading here is more aspiration than reality.

I did practically no work this weekend. Why have all of my weekends felt that way. I write these Thursday night, Friday night posts and say, "Regroup over the weekend." And do I? I mean, my sanity comes back coz I have some good times with people I like that are over the age of 6, that's true. And I usually have spend ample time with the excercise I like. So, yes, I feel sane right now at 11pm on Sunday night. But, do I have a weeks worth of lessons ready to go?

No. No. No.

I remember talking with my assistant(here to know as A.T.) at the beginning of the year, and telling A.T. about my lesson planning formats and my theme ideas, and what I heard back was that last year that stuff didn't exist. They winged it everyday more or less, is what I gather. Or, just planned for each day without specific weekly goals. I couldn't really read whether A.T. thought this was effective or not, but A.T. did sound excited that I wanted to push thematic planning.

So, now that I'm into it. It seems like my idea of a theme is too much for the time of the program. Back to the "Keep It Simple, Stupid" concept (maybe "KIS, Silly" is kinder). Themes are great, chica, but it's gotta be REAL basic. As in, Pets, Buildings, Vehicles, Panda Bears. Not ecosytems and cities and things that go and endangered animals. Too much, for me AND them. I think we can embrace a sort of project-based focus, as long as we really hit on small themes in deep and varied ways.

So what would this look like for the coming week? I didn't get to the library this weekend. So, should I go tomorrow and dig up as much as I can. Should I change our format starting tomorrow? Shorten meetings and move them to later in the day? It's tricky coz I don't have to turn in my lesson plans to anyone at this job, so it's really all for me. Can I really take it day-by-day all week? I've been writing lessons on Sundays and totallly changing them by Wednesdays, so...in some senses, why bother...

I will probly get up plenty early tomorrow and leave time to keep thinking, but right now, I think I am handling things. I think having a positive attitude and relaxed disposition is really so much more important than trying to get every detail right. Where I feel I'm struggling, though, is really the bag of tricks aspect. Like during circle, I want more attention getters and cooler songs that I actually know the words to...How can a person forget the words to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star... I swear, I am an embarassment to the profession when it comes to forgetting song lyrics. <> right? How do I forget that!

Also, for work time, I need to know more materials. But, this could be remedied by reviewing albums from other teachers at school. And the circle time thing could be remedied by a trip to the bookstore to get "transition tips and tricks" kinds of books.

Maybe instead of lesson planning, I should start "Directress' Bag of Tricks Book" and have sections for songs, rhymes, materials, transition stuff, outdoor games. Hmmm....stream of consciousness has resulted in a good idea.

Woo! Yeah, and that's something I could save for future years! YeahYeahYeah!

But meanwhile, and for tomorrow. I gotta put together the original exercise I've had in mind and get done some housekeeping kinds of paper work. Also, an art activity for Tuesday. Brainstorm for ingedients/materials for this weeks projects. Also, if I'm gonna go project based, I think I want to solicit ideas from the kids about what we should study. And, still, behaviors fine in the scheme of things, but I can continue to lay down the law in more effective and fair ways. I have that ability. :)

I am still alive (or Week 1)

2006-09-14T22:36:00.000-05:00

Oh, my. Almost through it. The first loooong week. The first week of all the children who will actually be in my class. Here's the raw story:

Wow. Monday I wanted to pull hair out, collapse in the bed. Three unknown kids added to my roster. Room in disaray. Tuesday I wanted to cry, melt, collapse. Child on verge of breakdown, and maximum enrollment really straining, having shift recess because of open house. 3s that don't talk and wet themselves. Both nights I was sleepless on both sides of midnight. Wednesday I cried walking to work and really thought I might have to leave the building with an escort for having a breakdown in class.

And then, something amazing happened. We had a day that was okay. Not great. Not amazing. But, okay. No tears really. Timely pickups. A meeting that more or less worked. Children focusing on room tasks.

And today. Again. Okay. That's all I can really shoot for at this point. I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants trying to learn the new school cultures and the personalities of kids that know each other very well. It's always hard being the new comer.

I've accepted that this week, I'll do my lesson planning early the next morning. And it'll work. I have the weekend to regroup and reevaluate my growing store of ideas based on what I've assessed this week. Then, maybe I'll do something that resembles a weekly lesson plan BEFORE Monday.

The task right now: Keep It Simple, Stupid. I know I'm not stupid. But, I'm NEW. NEW teacher. Hi. I get a special name tag. I am sooooo NEW. I watched myself make mistakes this week. But, I'm not beating myself up over it. There's so much to adjust to, intital ideas won't always work the first time.

I also am really impressing myself by trusting my instincts. I was planning on doing a favorite song of mine that I haven't tried with kids before, and feeling the mood of the group I could tell it wasn't going to work today. It was a rainy day. Less recess, still an awkward transition to my group time. So, I scrapped it and did a song we tried yesterday. And they still loved it.

I feel confident. They were so giggly and excited today. My soul feels warm seeing the genuinness of my students. They are so giving to one another. So honest. Many of them come from homes where feelings are discussed. I had a 3 year old use words today to describe how he felt getting squished in line. Amazing. I have so much to work with, the skies the limit. If I can just get procedure and management down these next couple weeks, I'll have these kiddos flying high. We can do amazing projects, I just know it. I just have to really work on building the class community.

I really slipped into a sense of ease today. This job won't be easy, but it won't be overwhelming. This is a job I can do. I am qualified for this. I really don't have to doubt this anymore, like I was the first few days. This week has been about holding on for dear life in a lot of ways, but next week will be about community, respect, "all about me" goodness. YEAH!

I'm glad I could shift perspective so readily. Not to say I won't let myself feel scared and overwhelmed at times, but I think I can let my excitement, curiousity, enthusiasm, happiness and love pour out all over the giggles and intellect. To begin, I was feeling scared of the kids, scared of getting back into this field after a little break. Scared that this somehow isn't what I want, even though I've been striving for it really since college and I was holding myself back. Maybe this isn't all I'll ever do, but this should be damn well exciting for at least a year. I'll learn a lot, you know. You always do. And I might even be able to get the point for once. :)

overwhelmed good and bad

2006-09-05T21:47:00.000-05:00

Wow. So this is what it feels like to be overwhelmed.

By this, I mean weird headachiness that starts at neck and travels throughout skull and rests right behind the eyes.

Not good.

On the otherhand, not bad. Just a symptom of all kinds of newness. And new things aren't negative at all, just a lot to handle.

It's been the first day on the job, although I'm minding kids not in their final arrangement. Today was one of these kinds of phase-in dealies that Montessori favors.

Wow. Back to kids. They really are all the same, all the world over. This bunch is just a bit more verbal than most of my past charges. The mixed age group is a challenge without all the materials out and about. I knew it was coming, but it's still a shock to have a 5 who's in the 3rd year at the school and then a 3 who doesn't even know where the bathroom is or how to use it...don't worry, no accidents on day 1, just some confusions about flushing (when and how). :)

So, on that note: Things to remember for procedures tomorrow and in the future:

Bathroom:

We shut the door. Does it have to lock? NO.
We make sure the toliet is flushed. If not, please flush it.
How much toliet paper do you take? This much!!!
How many times do we flush? 1!!!!
Who can show me how to turn on the water? A little or a lot? A little!!!
How much soap do you take? More than one squirt? NO!!!
This is how you turn off the water. I do it quick to save water.
This is how you take a paper towel. Two hands, tug. Start with one. Take 2 at the most. We need to save them coz they come from trees, let's not waste. (If you want to play with paper we have drawing and collage paper! Woo!)

Playing at the sink is funny business. We don't do funny business in the bathroom. We can have fun with water out on the playdeck. And we will! Or at the fountain nearby!

Yup. yup. Also critical is me eating. I love ECE coz meals are family style and this is fun, but I hate that it messes up when the growup eats. It's hard to enjoy your meal when you have to get up to take care of spills and yogurts that won't open. Self-care, right? So tomorrow I eat a real lunch and hopefully avoid some of the head spinningness feelings. I also want to get to school even earlier to prepare my materials ALL ahead of time. It's been rainy today and I want plenty of indoor stuff to do if we are stuck inside for the morning. I'm putting off the planning until tomorrow. I htink out of stubbornness. Coz yesterday it was silly to plan the night before w/o knowing that the weather would be sucking.

I need to watch my interactions with the kids, keep it really positive. And UP MY ENERGY. But, down my talking. I felt really fatigued yesterday and it's coz I couldn't settle in coz my schedule got changed early in the morning (but only a few minutes before kids were arriving). So, I kind of spent the day feeling like I was holding on for dear life coz the day went so much differently than planned. But, it worked out. I just wound up changing my mind in front of the kids at least twice and I don't like that during the first week. Coz literally, I've never been to some rooms in this school that we wound up in. I guess that is my own lack of prep, I should see where class is held. It just wound up that a lot was up in the air...it will be clearer tomorrow. I am angry, though, at my admin for leaving things so loose without giving me more warning, but I'm also angry at myself for not planning for this somewhat obvious possibility. I'm also angry for taking a job where "flexibility" was stressed so much in the sales pitch. But, I didn't have that many other options, and my best other option would have involved tremendous flexibility, as well. So, I'd better keep that in mind!

So, to bed and I will plan when I can assess the sky. PS, headache feeling better! venting on that page is good medicine!

job job job job job :)

2006-07-23T23:23:00.000-05:00

It's taken a little while for it to sink in, and classes are out for the summer, but I GOT A TEACHING JOB. AT A MONTESSORI SCHOOL. WOOOOO!

Anticipation and anxiety storm away. I know I can do it, but it is so much. First years are always hard, as are new jobs. Hopefully, this blog will be a great release from the pressures and worries and give me clarity about my development.

I'm debating what and how much to blog about concerning classroom life. Advice?

how singing is living

2006-06-11T18:49:00.000-05:00

I am such a happy human being right now. I am really discovering who I am and I cannot wait to share that with children. I don't think it will be easy, but it's a good and right thing to do.

I have been reading the memoirs of opera singer Renee Fleming, The Inner Voice. What a great time to come across this in my life. This book is a moving story about what it means to work hard and learn who you are. I love Ms. Fleming's voice and style, but it's great to learn about her sensible background and read about her emotional honesty. It's nice to know that other folks are full of self-doubt about the things they love.

The original link to my photo of Ms. Fleming got messed up, so I found this one of her looking all kinds of sassy from an Italian website. YAY!

my first album!!!!

2006-05-13T21:53:00.000-05:00

My first album is complete. Yes, it is. My sensorial album is full of all the goodness of the stanard, fundamental exercises and some of the spice of my original exercise. Woo. And all my digital photos that are crammed into my harddrive and word files as little pictures. I am soooo excited.

That's all. An important milestone in my montessori career, I'm sure. 1 down, 5 to go.

Will someone please hire me? I make an excellent assistant teacher!

the confident teacher

2006-02-28T23:03:00.000-05:00

Really, now. What does it take to become a confident teacher?

I feel so unconfident, so often, that I feel like I'll never, ever proclaim, "I know exactly what to do!!" when faced with some kind of classroom/child meltdown. Hopefully, Montessori teaching will mean fewer meltdowns since there are fewer restrictions on activity, but Primary classrooms are still full of tantrum-containing little ones.

I was just talking with a teacher from my old school who has a few of my students from last year. A few of the difficult ones. That got more difficult as last year wore on.

And I feel...guilty. Like, maybe the way I and my co-teacher handled the end of the year made behavior problems worsen and stay poor in the current school year. Maybe we got too unstructured. Maybe we should have planned more...something. Because it's hard to disassociate from the behavior of the child, even though my experiences with Montessori were what taught me to start attempting that pulling back in the first place.

ARGH.

I wonder when these feelings stop? I know that training in the Montessori method is making me so much more confident than I've ever felt about being in the classroom. There is a real and beautiful power about knowing you can approach a single child in the sea of many and ask, "Can I show you a lesson?" and you've got the key to this whole matrix of understanding that will start unfolding.

I really, really want to work in a Montessori school. Last year, I was on the fence, and I managed to get myself in the not teaching job that I've got at the moment. Now, I've got some knowledge. This is so important to me. I am really going to do it. I don't want to over think, but I need to write a great cover letter that shows my passion and experience in some concise way. (If you are reading this blog, you know I am not so concise, at times...) I need to stop feeling guilty about passing around my references and asking for letters of rec, because that's just part of teaching, and folks understand that, now don't they. And, I've got to do some practice interviews. I really don't even know how to approppriately express my excitement about Montessori because I don't think my voice has enough variety in tone and pitch.

All I know is I will give it my best (and do some nice writing activities to get all my passion into speakable sentance form. )

YAY! HAPPY!

the lesson plan from 1912

2006-02-25T23:02:00.000-05:00

Becoming a Montessori teacher means learning the minutiae of the lessons described in the writing of Maria Montessori. It means reading Dr. Montessori's flowery prose about her ingenious cylinders and rods and beads and distilling her poetic conceptions into a numbered procedure for a very generic lesson plan.

This process is tedious, but so incredibly necessary. It elevates the lesson into a scientific operation, but at the same time becomes the artist's script. The lesson plan exists as the notes the artist inspects before the first brush stroke, the script the actor consults before summoning her emotion.

The lesson plan is something meticulous. It breaks down what to say and when to say it, it may well be the first "scripted curriculum". However, the effectiveness comes from the fact that the "script" of actions and words lasts for five minutes or less. It is a scripted, ordered moment in a day that flows loosely. The lesson has demanded the concentration of the teacher prior to the moment. Yet, it is a lesson that can be completed again and again, at a different time with a different child. It doesn't get stale like the instructions for gluing together the latest thematic art project.

Obtaining someone else's interpretation of an exercise is quite easy. Typing your own interpretation and working your hand out during class time to transcribe the details of your intsructors work is not so easy. But definitely time consuming. And that is the idea folks. That's why future doctors have to memorize 5,000 things every year in med school. I'm sure there's a psych study out there that proves that the memorizing and transcribing of info may be tedious work but it gets the brain to a saturation point, where you just start always thinking about things in terms of three period lesson or blood type or civil tort or whatever.

I'd keep going, but I have some sensorial excercises to transcribe. Woo.

books for women's history month

2006-02-19T16:34:00.000-05:00

It's time to start the ordering process for that March 1st kick-off. Nicely corresponding with Dr. Seuss' birthday on March 2, I might add. I'm a little skeptical of the month mentality which does seem to encourage segregating well-rounded historical information from a year-round curriculum. However, I hope to see these lists as a good reference for future lessons, regardless of whether or not they fall in a certain celebrating month.

Women's History Month gained national regonition only in 1987, so it seems like some of the zeal for celebrating it when I was a child came from its relative newness. And the crappy assignments came because there were so few print resources out there about women.

So...here's what's out there celebrating the accomplishments of women and the struggle for gender equality and freedom of expression.

I am rushed at the moment, so I've checked some favorites over at Powell's, where they graciously list 176 titles that discuss women in history. To see my list, go to powells.com, and type in doingmontessori@gmail.com. Also, feel free to send me an email at that address.

More to come. Now, on to a haircut.

Words about progress

2006-02-08T00:25:00.000-05:00

When I think of system reform, I think of road blocks.

When I am trying not to think about systems and think instead of my self, I still often see what's in the way instead of the way.

Thanks to An Old Soul for some bedtime inspiration.

challenging the CW

2006-02-07T16:36:00.000-05:00

It wasn't until I worked as a receptionist that I first read Newsweek magazine. In an incredibly slow office, magazine selection becomes very important. I had both Time and Newsweek to select from, but inevitably, I found time to be an inferior product. Why? Because it lacked the ADD-inspired features that Newsweek seemed to tailor to my generation.

So, when I think of the phrase "conventional wisdom" what comes to mind is that little graphic organizer they in the front of the magazine charting the impact of specific news events using an arrow that goes up, down or left to right.

Moving up a level in complexity, I realize that I am old enough and educated enough to have developed my own conventional wisdom. What's worse, rekindling my appreciation for Montessori pedaegogy is challenging all of the conventional wisdom I have picked up from my exposure to the education reformers out there.

Here's the old wisdom:

What we need right now are smaller class sizes. Then teachers can give individualized attention and teach to the multiple intelligences. So, we need money for more teacher. But, better prepared teachers, too. Oh, and equity. Equal pay, regardless of city or suburb or rural location. So, ummm, uh, we need small classes and we also need to abolish property-tax funding structures. Oh, my god, that's, like, so fucking much to do. Where can we start...Shit, but you know, we CAN start. YEAH. We can make these changes. Little by little. Small victories.

That is the kind of frenzy that reformers have to work up in order to face the excrutiating pace of beauracratic change. It requires a lot of mental and intellectual energy to fight the battles over those issues. Folks make a career out of it. Studying educational policy always seemed like a plausible career for myself because it doesn't seem so difficult to collect data and analyse it. Especially when you feel like it is making a difference. You start putting heart and soul into the nuance of the issue in which you are an expert. You love the issue. You care about it. The issue is your child, and your child must succeed. Even at the expense of the bigger picture. Because how can you look at the wide expanse of "education issues" and see past the precious being that you nuture?

That's the question that is erroding away my conventional wisdom. Whether you love standardized testing or project-based learning, once you get excited by your research or your process in appoaching schooling, it's so hard to see another way that will work.

Spending time in public schools, I just don't see the smaller class size REALLY making a meaningful change. There's too much else broken. Equitable funding would be a great step forward for democracy, but what kind of system would this equity fund. Our education system today is built on some nasty old business and industry model.

Ross Periot said, regarding schools in Texas, "We've got to nuke this educational system." Of course a business man is going to use a violent metaphor and have no fucking clue about educating for democracy, but his instinct to renew is right on.

All the Montessori in my brain says we've got to stop the grade level madness. Kids don't develop on little shelves in a supermarket, we've got to let them grow at their own pace. Montessori schools allow for that. Montessori provides a work environment MORE like modern business practices because you are accountable for your own learning (in a gentle way, of course). What are we waiting for? Why can't we imagine this as what is possible? What we want for children?

So, my new CW seems to want to conventionalize the idea that Montessori is just the superior method of educating the very young, no matter what. I'm sure I'll grow to embrace a more nuanced picture, but it will take some time.

For now, on with the broad stair.

a gift to me and you

2006-02-05T23:22:00.000-05:00

Girls with purses. I love this drawing.

children's books about civil rights and black history

2006-01-17T11:02:00.000-05:00

Starting this week, I hope to post weekly children's booklists on a variety of topics. Although I find Amazon's customer produced lists to useful, I want to gather my own research here. I know there are some excellent civil rights teacher reference books out there, especially Putting the Movement Back into Civil Rights Teaching.

The difficulty is really the layers to the movement, the reality that while we've moved towards equality, we're not there yet. My own 1980s intergrated public schooling was full of "but now blacks and whites can be friends" social studies lessons and I don't want to see another generation grow up ignoring complex discussions of race, class and equality in the classroom. So, maybe some of these books will be useful in planning meaningful lessons.

Public School Integration
Through My Eyes by Ruby Bridges (ages 8-12)
Linda Brown, You Are Not Alone by Joyce Carol Thomas (ages 8-12)
Remember: The Journey to School Integration by Toni Morrison (ages 8+)
Days of Courage: The Little Rock Story by Richard Kelso (ages 9-12)
The Story of Ruby Bridges by Robert Coles (ages 4-8)

Civil Rights Movement
Freedom on the Menu: The Greensboro Sit-ins by Carol Weatherford (ages 4-8)
Speaking Out: The Civil Rights Movement 1950-1964 by Kevin Supples (ages 10-14)
Freedom School, Yes! by Amy Littlesugar (ages 4-8)
Freedom's Children: Young Civil Rights Activists Tell Their Own Stories
by Ellen Levine (ages 8+)
Let It Shine: Stories of Black Women Freedom Fighters by Andrea Davis Pinkney (ages 9-12)
Rosa Parks by Eloise Greenfield (ages 6-9, chapter book)
Rosa by Nikki Giovanni (age 7+)
Dear Mrs. Parks by Rosa Parks (ages 8-12)
If a Bus Could Talk : The Story of Rosa Parks by Faith Ringgold
...If You Lived at the Time of Dr. Martin Luther King by Ellen Levine (ages 8-12)
White Socks Only by Evelyn Coleman (ages 5-9)
Freedom Summer by Deborah Wiles (ages 5-9)
The Other Side by J. Woodson (ages 5-9)
Free at Last: A History of the Civil Rights Movement and Those Who Died in the Struggle by Sara Bullard (ages 10-15)
Witnesses to freedom :young people who fought for civil rights by Belinda Rochelle (ages 12+)

Celebrating African-American Lives
Langston's Train Ride by Robert Burleigh (ages 5+)
Alvin Ailey by A.D. Pinkney (ages 4-8)
Ella Fitzgerald: The Tale of a Vocal Virtuosa by Andrea D. Pinkney (ages 4-8)
When Marian Sang: The True Recital of Marian Anderson by Pam Ryan (ages 4-8)
Teammates: Jackie Robinson by Paul Golenbock (ages 6-12)
Thank You, Jackie Robinson by Barbara Coleman (ages 8-12)
Salt in His Shoes: Michael Jordan in Pursuit of a Dream by Delores Jordan (ages 4-8)
More Than Anything Else: Booker T. Washington by Marie Bradby (ages 5-9)

Surviving and Escaping Slavery
Aunt Harriet's Underground Railroad in the Sky by Faith Ringgold (ages 4-8)
Harriet and the Promise Land by Jacob Lawrence (ages 4-8)
From Slave Ship to Freedom Road by julius lester (ages 9-12)
To Be A Slave by Julius Lester (ages 9-12)
Allen Jay and the Underground Railroad by Marline Brill (ages 6-9)
The Daring Escape of Ellen Craft by Cathy Moore (ages 6-9)
Freedom River by Doreen Rappaport (ages 8-12)
No More!: Stories and Songs of Slave Resistance by Doreen Rappaport (ages 8-12)
Escape from Slavery: Five Journeys to Freedom by Doreen Rappaport (ages 10-14)
The Underground Railroad by Raymond Bial (ages 10-14)
Barefoot: Escape on the Underground Railroad by Pamela Duncan Edwards

Secrets of the Underground Railroad Quilts
Under the Quilt of Night by Deborah Hopkinson (ages 6-12)
Sweet Clara and the Freedom Quilt by Deborah Hopkinson (ages 6-12)
The Patchwork Path: A Quilt Map to Freedom by Bettye Stroud (age 6-12)
The Secret to Freedom by Marcia Vaughn (age 8-12)

To be edited with more goodies. Some added 1/21/06

New vaccines for infant diarrhea

2006-01-10T18:05:00.000-05:00

file this one under children's health...

The Washington Post reports that pharma companies GlaxoSmithKline and Merck & Co. have published the results of a study that tested the effectiveness of a vaccine meant to protect against a rotavirus that causes diarrhea in very young children. Released in last week's New England Journal of Medicine, the study looked at the effectiveness of the vaccine in 60,000 infants, most who began the study at 10 weeks of age.

The drugs are already approved in 20 counties, mostly poorer nations where diarrhea kills infants in startling numbers. Here's what the study doctors wrote:

"More than 2 million hospitalizations and nearly half a million deaths are attributed to this infection annually. The strategy of preventing rotavirus through vaccination derives from studies demonstrating that wild-type rotavirus infection induces immunity against subsequent rotavirus gastroenteritis."

Downside to the vaccine: Wyeth (Phila pharma co.) released a rotavirus vaccine in 1999 that had the nasty side effect of "intestinal intussusception," which means part of the bowel twists over on itself causing , in 15 children that received the vaccine. So, the company pulled the vaccine off the market.

It seems that 12-15 of this study's participants did suffer from intussusception, but not directly following a vaccine administration. So...it's safe? Safer?

The Post uncovers the greed factor: "Merck, of Whitehouse Station, NJ, initially targeted only wealthy markets, but, after lobbying by public-health doctors, embraced the idea of selling its vaccine at a cut rate in poor countries." Of course, the skeptic in me wonders what good the vaccine will do if these infants grow up still without clean water, enough nutritious food and a global system of oppression that determines the odds from their first wails in underfunded, unsterilized clinic rooms... :(

The good news here is that beyond the invasive marketing of luxury drugs to combat the "diseases" of restless legs and balding, there are actually scientists working for the big drug companies that are interested in making medicines that saves lives.

picture books about adoption

2006-01-07T23:14:00.000-05:00

Some work-related research I thought I could share. In sharing these books with an adopted child, it seems important that the gender of the book character matches the adopted child's gender. Is this a sexist notion? It seems like a important idea because so many other factors of a child's adoption may differ from the few books that are out there. I think it might vary family to family, since I've worked with a variety of family politics while searching for books about adoption for young ones.

In my store right now, we only have I Love You Like Crazy Cakes, which is about an Asian girl.

Books about adoption with boy characters:
Happy Adoption Day! by John McCutcheon
We Adopted You, Benjamin Koo by Linda W Girard
Borya and the Burps by Joan McNamara
Through Moon and Stars and Night Skies by Ann Warren Turner
Horace by Holly Keller

Books about adoption with girl characters:
My Family Is Forever by Nancy Carlson
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes by Rose Lewis
My New Family: A First Look At Adoption by Pat Thomas
How I Was Adopted by Joanna Cole
Adoption is for Always by Linda Walvoo Girard**
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jaime Lee Curtis
I Don't Have Your Eyes by Carrie Kitze
Over the Moon: An Adoption Tale by Karen Katz
The Red Blanket by Eliza Thomas *single parent
When I Met You: A Story of Russian Adoption by Adrienne Ehlert Bashista
Familes Are Forever by Shemin

Gender-free:
The Day We Met You by Phoebe Koehler
Kids Like Me in China by Ying Ying Fry *photo essay

Wow. An hours worth of research reveals that almost ALL adoption books are about international adoption by white couples. Many of these titles are based on the family of the author. Politically and culturally interesting that the folks that choose and are able to widely publish a book have adopted girls in much higher proportions. Listen up, authors and publishers, let's recruit some more diverse offerings!

Next up for research: foster parenting books...

montessori makes celebrity news story

2006-01-04T12:57:00.000-05:00

A troubled fifteen year old girl was murdered in California after running away from home and then Georgia-state care. Her alleged murderer was a 20-year-old man she met while homeless and working as a prostitute. The news coverage of this event continues to reference that she is the great-great granddaughter of Maria Montessori.

Why? Of course her death is newsworthy because it represents a tragedy, and news consumers love tradegy. But, who is Maria in this story? A "celebrity" reference? An indicator of an ironic outcome for the descendant of an educational leader?

Just found a story from a Georgia alt weekly paper that gives this story the detail it deserves. Missing from Georgia DFACS group home facilities for a year, it seems many different state agencies failed in the effort to find a missing child. Hanna Montessori's death in California was first in the news as the story of an unidentified teen victim.

the internet responds:
Sacred Ordinary
Websleuths

Murder stories (mostly covered by the AP):
Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Portland (ME) Press Herald (Montessori grew up in Maine)
Los Angeles Times

barcoding kids (for real!)

2006-01-03T11:20:00.000-05:00

John Dewey might have said school is a factory.

Now, we get to say school is a Walmart stockroom.

Thanks to the forward thinking engineers at the National Institute of Justice, public schools are already piloting programs where students wear or carry a tag that uniquely identifies them using radio frequency identification technology. This technology allows real-time location tracking of whatever is attached the device, which according to the NIJ, somehow or another can improve school safety.

This from a government that wants to give the appearence of supporting small schools, instead we're taking the superstore approach the reducing shrinkage. Beneath the unfunded rhetoric of NCLB, grant money is being offered to schools that will agree to testing military-industrial technology on public school students. In an article for the New Standard, Catherine Komp presents the criticism that this is a means to acclamate students to high-tech surveillance.

Treating our children like volatile inventory is a means to continue decrease the dignity and humanity of young people. When kids are systematically made to feel worthless, they will not grow to be critical thinkers, active citizens or innovaters. Exactly the kinds of adults that corporations would love to employ, right? Folks who are easily intimidated into becoming by-the-book workaholics. And, of course, for the tracked children who are residents of marginalized communities, this is advanced preperation for what all ready goes on in prisons.

Can cash-strapped school systems resist the call of NIJ grant money? Or will children begin to find it normal that Big Brother is embedded into their trendy plastic bracelets?

school is culture is (mandatory) school

2005-12-13T22:36:00.000-05:00

Public school is the cultural battleground. Just today while waiting for the Ellen show to rewind in the VCR, I tuned into a commercial on my local Christian TV station that touted LOCAL workshops for adults on leading "children's ministries," interviewing a bunch of reasonable looking mom ladies on how this class let them bring Christ into the hearts of children in public schools, with video of little girls with braids bein' saved by doing some ice breakers about the man JHC.

Moving from evangelism to sexism, isn't it heartwarming to know this 1960 book titled When I Grow Up was sittin' around in an inner-city school until I smuggled it from the discard pile in May, May 2005?

just a sample of the whimsical goodness...

warm and fuzzy greeting cards

2005-12-02T01:19:00.000-05:00

Where does the tradition peace centered Holiday and Christmas cards originate? I can recall some song lyrics -- "peace on earth, good will towards men" -- so, it seems to be a long standing practice, but for some reason, seeing "Peace" all dolled up on the front of a card is hitting me really hard this year.

My reaction is just scowly and ironic.

Welcome to a poigantly anti-peace Christmas for the citizens of the United States.

I guess the ironic nature of the "Peace" Christmas card should be clear by observing that well over half of these offerings come with repro art of cartoonish bears and owls carolling in a snowy wood. Okay, I get it, the content is ficiton, right?

Or can we still believe in these greetings? Can we send them to loved ones with good faith? With a believe that we work for peace in this world? Because right now, I'm doing just about diddly for peace. Besides my little Amnesty Intl donations, I'm not spearheading any letter righting campaigns to end war in _________(fill in with favorite war-torn land mass), and I'm sure as heck not a doctor without borders or a UNESCO operative.

These cards don't bear practical messages, like "Here's the direct line to the XXXX oil company exec, please let him know your thoughts on environmental devestation in Africa." They're sort of a warm and fuzzy thought, like "Smell of Gingerbread" or "Take Your Photo with Santa."

Here's what I'm thinking. We model this sort of warm and fuzzy to our children AS A WAY OF LIFE. We say peace on earth, good will towards men. Teachers and parents encourage copying such sayings onto cutout Christmas trees and snowflakes. We hold concerts where multi-colored children sing "We are the World." We give the appearence, we create the appearence of all things bright and beautiful, but really most folks in the US are contributing to global inequity through their day to day actions.

Myself included. I am big enough to admit it, but at the same time crushed by this truth and trying to figure out what to do about it.

Oprah Winfrey was on the David Letterman show tonight, talking about her work to help oppressed folk in South Africa. She says don't be stunned into inaction by the size of the problem, just do what you can do to change things. Life is short, as we all like to say as one year closes and another begins.

I just know that we can get caught on a path so quickly in our youth, and I want to choose an agreeable comfortable one for me, but I feel like I'm idling time while making this nebulous calculation. You've got to jump in, right? You never know until you try.

Ah, it's late and I'm all aphorisms. Maybe I'd better make my own ChrisHanaKwanzaa cards this year. Good night, Ben.

whachoo talkin' about?

2005-11-13T01:07:00.000-05:00

The love of my life has another love that rules her world.
A love that should never be spoken.

A love. . .of Diff'rent Strokes.

When a boxed set of the first season of the Gary Coleman hit arrived at our home **thanks Amazon marketplace** I laughed. I recalled watching the show in syndicated Saturday afternoon reruns while growing up in the 1980s, but I never thought it was anything special. In fact, it seemed kind of boring to my seven-year-old self.

But, OMG, this series is funny and smart in a way that almost seems impossible today. What happened to these goodhearted days? The humor has bite, DEFINITELY social awareness, but it lacks that unshakable, bitter sarcasm that infects today's comedy writing. Is the problem today that sitcoms like Diff'rent Strokes set out in the 1970s to make the world a better place, and just failed? Are today's comedy writers and television producers jaded by failed attempts at change, or are they just oblivious to such possibilities?

I think the most likely scenario is that television has just become more sophisticated. Sophistication does not equate with the warm fuzzy feeling I get at the end of each episode of Different Strokes. Sophistication has all kinds of causes, too. Probably the most powerful one is the almighty corporate advertising dollar. Ka-ching. In the end, producers/writers/actors want to get paid. Alot. The Hollywood lifestyle is expensive to maintain (Of course, I get that impression from reading the reams of magazines chronicling the lives of celebrities that arrive each week at the bookstore... isn't that a chicken or egg situation?). So, the idea's with good intentions have to find a way to serve the interests of advertising. And the interest of advertising are brutal. Manipulation through fear, pleasure, competitiveness. DS could not hold up today because viewers have more choices, and advertisers demand shows that get the ratings. So, shows need to be full of sex, unrealistic living situations, snarky humor... everything that DS is NOT. Granted, you have to take on a wing and a prayer Arnold and Willis' orphanhood, but can you imagine that DS did not have one sexy leading lady falling out of her blouse? And where are today's primetime television shows that give youth and voice that is not primarily whining, greedy and manipulative?

Maybe I need some other perspectives... was DS an anomaly of its time? I was busy watching Nick Jr. on the cable box when the series originally aired, so I don't remember any of its contemporaries. I guess I should acquire a cable box again, so I can tune in to see Nick at Night reruns of the Jeffersons and All My Family. But, these shows don't have a lot of meaning to me at this time. But, from all of my television history knowledge, I know that they pushed the envelope in terms of discussing social issues.

I know this post goes all over the place, but, amazingly, watching disc one of the first season of DS woke up all new questions in me about what I know about popular culture, race relations, social change, comedy, portrayal of black youth in the media... it is going to take more words to process this.

ideas into obscurity

2005-10-30T20:39:00.000-05:00

When I was an undergraduate at the University, I spent a good amount of time pacing the serpentine shelves full of books labeled with library of congress call letters L-LD. Books about Montessori, books about community education, books about the psychology and sociology of learning.

When I first discovered these open stacks, I felt thrilled to be surrounded by a physical representation of the accumulated knowledge of our society's systems of teaching and learning. However, as the months and years of my schooling began to pass, my extracurricular readings barely scratched the surface of what was available on the shelves.

Curious one day, I began to pull books off the shelf at random, checking the back cover to see the date that the book was last checked out. For some, it was never, some 20 years ago and very few in the last five years. Of course, some folks were like me, reading classroom ethnographies AT the library, rather than at home.

Soon, a quiet, painful little thought began to eat away at me as I sat writing papers. These books represented the innovative thoughts of people that truly cared about teaching and learning. Bold folks who believed in an idea -- leaders, educators, intellectuals. These books were the work of authors who spent nights and weekends revising chapters, searching archives, tape recording interviews. Some of these books surely represent a life's work. A life's work -- shelves full of them.

The question is, what does a life's work mean if it was only important enough for one person to ever move it from the confines of the library? What does a book mean if no one reads it? What does a call to action mean if no one takes action?

Surely, the act of writing a book fulfills the purpose of the author. It brings satisfaction to the author, probably just to know that and ideas explained. From experience, I know there is great clarity at the end of the writing process. But, what does it mean when there are 500 books and 5,000 journal articles about the best way to structure high school education? What does it mean when 450 of those books are no longer being read?

Those 450 books are still there on the shelf. Tightly bound, closely shelved and gathering dust. Ashes to ashes...

business of book reviews

2005-10-23T21:16:00.000-05:00

This week's New York Times Book Review featured the Children's Book bestseller listings. Fascinating stuff, Robert Sabuda's pop-up book magic is well deserving of two spots in the top five. But read a few pages further...

Please, please, PLEASE tell me why The O'Reilly Factor for Kids is on the Advice, How-To and Miscellaneous best-seller list. You could show up at a bookstore and buy a child in a nonfiction book about engineering, chemical reactions, ancient history, inspirational biography, but somehow all that catches your eye is the obnoxious face out of the nonreturnable eight copies of spin-off punditry book. WOW. Grown-ups suck. You know that every kid that gets that book from some well-meaning old fart just has another reason to feel misunderstood and bitter. And what kind of advice, exactly, is Bill offering to today's youth? How the capitalist, white supremacist patriarchy allows exposed sexual harassers to have their own TV show?

You can't talk to me like that just because I am white

2005-10-06T20:31:00.000-05:00

I feel dirty.

Today, this young woman comes in to the children's book department asking for stickers. Now, we don't sell little sheets or rolls of stickers, just sticker books and a couple of gift sets. So, I hand her a Dr. Seuss sticker set. It's clear by facial reaction that it is not what she is expecting or searching for, but she seems interested by it.

I dote at an arm's length away, pointing out that it has a lot of stickers for the price, but I realize that it is not necessarily what she was looking for.

She gets ready to speak, and I smile, expecting a polite explanation of why she won't be purchasing the stickers that day.

Instead: "Well, I am a nursing student and I'm conducting health screenings on kids ages two through seven years old in a predominantly African-American school and... I mean, are they going to know who Dr. Seuss is?"

what? huh? My brain goes blank. Up until the dot dot dot, I was expecting an objection to the price, quantity, small size of the actual stickers. And then -- wham -- expectation that I am just as racist as you. Because I am white like you. Because I am dressed like you.

Now looking back on it, I feel so dirty and used to be dragged into her racism just because of our similar skin color. Would you really ask that to a black person, nursing student?

And now, looking back on it, I feel ashamed because I didn't see something clever, honest, boldly antiracist back to that.

No, I stare at her, recover from blank brain, and as passive aggressive as I can get is to say, "well, you said the kids go to school, right? I would assume that you're fine."

And she just goes right on telling her whole charitable nursing student tale... oh, it's a Montessori school, oh, it is right by your bookstore...blah, blah, bitchity blah.

And THEN she tells me she doesn't think the stickers are right. And where can she get stickers around here? And look at me, nonconfrontational is that I am, giving her ADVICE to buy them online at a teacher store because that's where they sell big quantities. And, then, she leaves, skipping off to nursing class, la la la, in her little school sweatshirt.

I can only imagine her today fawning over cute black toddlers, sneaking a touch of their exotic kinky hair as she helps them adjust the earphones during the hearing test. Maybe she is passing out some Fat Albert or Little Bill stickers, all "you know who that is, don't you, sweetie?" while grinning down at their poor, underprivileged faces.

And you know what, I am no better for not calling her on that shit. Because by not speaking up, even in the strange power arrangement of customer and employee, I'm coasting by...clinging to my white privilege.

Here's my vow to speak up when there is a next time.

reformatted for my enjoyment

2005-09-30T20:54:00.000-05:00

Oh, my. Turns out road trips are not so relaxing.

Too busy planning out of control itinerary to take corn pictures or cow pictures. Some cool pictures of tollbooths and paper coffee cups, though. And this nifty tractor in Iowa. (see below)

This maestra is taking a siesta from direct child minding to work in the exciting world of selling children's literature. A nice detour, even though it does include daily contact with the Adventures of Mary Kate and Ashley chapter books.

It is a new perspective to see parents engaged in education outside of a school setting. I've got a window into how parents educate their kids outside of school and how they negotiate school assigned reading.

I will have a lot more to say about that and the attitudes of my customers in the coming weeks I hope. And a promise I will write this stuff beforehand instead of dictating into my voice recognition software. Oh, and I might even explain what is up with the voice-recognition business.

I'm back!

remember this despair

2005-09-06T19:18:00.000-05:00

Dear Elected Official,

My heart hurts today. A natural disaster has toppled houses, taken lives, and destroyed livelihoods for hundreds of millions.

I watched, we watched from afar, as those with bank accounts and credit cards and working automobiles fled the distressed coastline. In New Orleans we can now see the poor and disabled who lost the little of everything they had and then found themselves stranded.

If Katrina does not wake you up, nothing will. I will be forced to believe that politics and power corrupts the human heart so thoroughly that this nation will never save itself.

Those left behind are not the victims of a hurricane. They are victims of the society that looks the other way and economic disparity.

The "victims" are victims because $5.15 an hour cannot raise a family. Because you can't save money when there is no bank in your neighborhood. Because you no longer qualify for a mortgage or a credit card after the company maps out your ZIP CODE+4. The "victims" are victims because when there is no affordable, preventative health care, you wind up in a wheelchair at 60 years old.

Congress cries new no new taxes, the corporations cry, "we'll have to cut jobs if you raise the minimum wage."

And you listen to the corporations. The minimum wage has not increased in seven years.

We the people would take care of ourselves if we could afford to. We truly cannot afford to even in the good times. Honest folks who work hard cannot take care of themselves in the face of the disaster. Don't believe me?

If you work 40 hours a week at minimum wage, your monthly earnings BEFORE taxes are $824. That is $10,712 annually BEFORE taxes. BEFORE health insurance by-ins.

And here it is, Elected Official, straight from the Department of Health and Human Services -- the 2005 poverty level for a family of two... say a mother and son... is $12,830.

$ 10,712
-$ 12, 830
_______
$ -2,118

It doesn't add up. I knew before it didn't add up. You knew before, Elected Official.

But let's allow for hope in the face of the disaster that was hurricane Katrina. Let us embrace our fellow citizens by requiring that businesses pay a fair wage. By cutting out the political posturing and establishing health care, preventative and otherwise, for ALL Americans. But helping the hurt and homeless reestablish lifes that are full of more hope and dignity.

If Katrina does not wake you up, nothing will.

Sincerely,
Your Fellow American
(a registered voter)

maestra on the move

2005-07-09T18:41:00.000-05:00

I will be on a bit of a road trip for this month, visiting some relatives and friends in the mid-westerly parts of the nation. Travelling will bring us down south, as well, for some much needed relaxation and exposure to green and natural things.

I'm on a farm for the first time ever today, so I'll have lots of cow and corn photos to use in the classroom some day.

There will be lots of things to see and maybe some time to write some posts on rainy days, but otherwise, normal posting will resume in August.

why blog?

2005-07-03T14:24:00.000-05:00

This blog has been a long time coming. It started last summer as an idea added to a never-ending things do list. I might as well be upfront, I am tragically addicted to list making. Every few months or so I make ambitious big goal lists (ie, research grad school), every few weeks I make a monthly list of more mundane chores (ie, check credit history), and, depending on my laziness, I make a weekly list of things to actually accomplish (ie, clean the tub).

Of course, as a teacher, I make tons of lists with titles such as Monday Before Kids, Things to Do at Naptime, and Great Books about the Ocean.

Typically, lists appear stream-of-consciousness-style on my journal pages, lined Post-it notepads, or blank, folded copy paper. Not so for the list titled Questions to Explore through Blogging. Instead, I wound up with this cheesy list:

How different are day care and preschool settings?
Does Montessori work in a variety of economic settings?
Who is reporting and analyzing early childhood issues on the web?
Who is taking care of these issues in print media?
Who are the other intellectually-oriented early childhood educators out there?

So, these will be a start.

inspirational readings

2005-06-13T22:19:00.000-05:00

Right at the beginning of my career, and I have read my share of inspirational volumes on why great teaching matters. Shall I be brave and admit that the first reform minded education writing I stumbled upon, in the beginning of high school, when I was browsing through nonfiction at the local library, was Savage Inequalities, THE Jonathan Kozol book to end all Jonathan Kozol books?

I wonder about my reaction then, since now that I look back upon it, I find that text quite depressing. Kozol is a moving storyteller, and the stories of the schools and students that he profiles are tragic ones; it was written in no way that a teenager might suppose would call a society to action.

Right.

But, maybe what is beautiful is that it moves individuals to care, even just a little bit more than they used to, about what is happening to public schools in the United States. It certainly have that effect on me. Enough to motivate me to go to college planning to study education reform...

More to come.

not an arbitrary interest

2005-06-10T17:58:00.001-05:00

When I was in the eighth grade, I thought that grown-up work was going to be filling out worksheets and making decisions involving multiple choices. It would be a place where you were denied resources and respect because of your race, class and gender, since that was what happened year after year as well-to-do white folks voted down the school budget of our tiny district and shipped their kids off to Catholic school.

Unfortunately, in the eighth grade, no one was talking to me about race and class and gender, so I spent most of my time pissy and alienated, scribbling in my journal about how foolish folks were screwing up the environment and taking away the rights of animals.

It is a radical leap to be a public school student and really understand and accept that your school is lying to you, filling you with toxic fear and laziness, turning you into a ready consumer, an employee, a soldier, a criminal -- anything but a freethinking, active mind.

Well, now I know the truth.

And don't they say, the truth shall set you free?